Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
