Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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