I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
