Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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