How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Randomize
