turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
