I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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