she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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