can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We left the knife in your bed.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
