why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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