the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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