Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
