I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
