listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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