then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
