OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
