My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
