I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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