apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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