Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
