I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
