3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Screwed.edu
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
