eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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