Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
