Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
