think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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