I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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