OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
