Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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