its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
