We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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