remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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