just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
