weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
