he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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