but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
