nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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