HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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