god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
