I must be too annoying 4 u.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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