Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
