I bet he comes in French.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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