Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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