He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
