So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
