Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
