your parents love me but you hate me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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