I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
