a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
