So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
