dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
