Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize