Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize