She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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