he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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