a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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