Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
