I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize