i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
