Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
