I wish my penis had an off switch
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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