Fine. I'll sleep in my office
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
