I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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