I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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